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//cocoa puffs//

May 28, 2008

This is just an observation, but there’s a lot to be learned at 3 a.m. whilst standing in the pouring rain wearing nothing but your skivvies trying to convince your dog to go to the bathroom. As I’m standing there with my pitiful little dog, both of us drenched, one of us extremely hacked and the other completely befuddled I begin pondering the more perplexing things in life.

One thing I’ve realized: I’m a terribly awkward person. I don’t know if it’s a genetic flaw or a social disorder, but I shouldn’t be allowed to carry on a conversation with anyone. Whether it’s a conversation with a new friend while sitting at Sonic, sharing a meal with Life Group as we talk about life and God or trying to convince a dog to take a piss; there always seems to be the annoying reality of disconnectedness waiting to slap you in the face. It’s such an uphill battle trying to overcome it all. Who has the energy to put in the work? Especially when we always end up getting hurt (or at least incredibly annoyed).

The “tasks” of getting to know a person, pursuing candid relationships with those closest to you or simply trying to decide on a place to eat all get screwed up by the fact that we are such different people with such different backgrounds. It’s when these world’s collide that the aftermath almost becomes too much to bear. There just isn’t enough time to wade through the competing realities present when “two or more are gathered in [Jesus’] name.” Why bother? I doubt we’ll ever really get it right and if we do it won’t last long.

But here is what I decided while standing in the rain with my poor little dog experiencing the gnawing dissonance of the “I-Dog” relationship: It’s precisely our diversity that makes our moments of unity, no matter how few or far between, so incredibly beautiful.

I believe there are times when each of us must admit our complete, incompleteness. No [hu]man is an island I guess. Isn’t that what human sexuality really is? Setting aside reproduction and the whole hetero/homo/bi discussion. Our creation as sexual beings is an ever-present reminder of the fact that we were created “one for the other.”

The truth of the matter is that without social interaction/connection there can be no personality. I have no way of knowing who it is that I really am if I’m too gutless and apathetic to leap across the abyss of human differentiation and step into the chaos of communal life with all the kooks and assholes that I call family and friends.

It is in those times that we get to experience the blessing of distance for the sake of nearness, individuality for the sake of reciprocal love/esteem and otherness for the sake of genuine oneness.

I hope this made sense.


3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 29, 2008 3:54 am

    Made perfect sense to me…snazzy new look by the way. Sadly, I didn’t find it at all disturbing that this is the kind of shit you think about when standing in the rain with a dog at 3 a.m….makes me feel a touch more normal myself. You got me scratching around trying to find a ramble on “of not by” God, but now I can’t put my hands on it….

  2. June 3, 2008 3:47 pm

    I like the shadowing around the edges of the white interior of the blog section. Coming to grips with community is an endeavor I am constantly trying to partake in lately. I agree with you that not only is this endeavor a worthy one (because in it we glorify God), but also it is a journey we were all created for as humans to desire. I find also, that in that transparency is when I can look at myself and see who I am in a new light.

  3. June 30, 2008 2:56 am

    was it not the happiest cry of your life?

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